Professional-ish yard care from adrenaline junkies who may or may not finish the job. But we'll definitely have a good time.
Things we intend to do when we arrive. Results may vary wildly.
We'll fire up the mower with genuine enthusiasm. Straight lines are aspirational. We usually get about 60% done before someone puts on Bob Marley and the vibes shift permanently.
We'll take a few whacks at your hedges, probably shape one into something abstract, then declare it "art." The rest depends on whether anyone brought the Bluetooth speaker.
We own a leaf blower. We will turn it on. Where the leaves end up is between them and God. Last week Marcus blew every leaf into the neighbor's pool. He thought it was hilarious.
Look, we'll pull a few. But after about 15 minutes, someone always says "weeds are just plants nobody invited" and then it turns into a philosophy session with beers.
We will turn on your sprinklers to "test" them. By test we mean run through them. It's hot out there. Your lawn will get watered though, technically, so everyone wins.
Complimentary with every service. We set up camp chairs in your front yard, crack open a cooler, and blast reggae until the sun goes down. Your neighbors will either love us or call someone.
Submitted by actual customers. We are not ashamed.
Probably. If the wind conditions are right and nobody found a new cliff to jump off. We guarantee arrival within a 4-hour window. Or the next day. Look, we'll get there.
Every crew arrives with a fully stocked cooler. We consider this essential equipment. The mower is optional. The cooler is not.
We only play the best reggae. None of that playlist-algorithm stuff. Our guy Derek has a curated collection spanning 30 years. This is the real service you're paying for.
We guarantee a positive attitude. Your lawn may not look different, but you'll feel different. And isn't that what really matters? (It's not, but go with it.)
486 feet above the Snake River. Where careers in lawn care begin (and occasionally end).
Honestly generous considering we're fun to have around
Real photos from real jobs. Your results will be exactly this.
We can't make these up. Well, we could. But we didn't have to.
"They mowed exactly half my lawn. Like, perfectly half. A clean diagonal line through the middle. Then they set up chairs and I heard reggae for 4 hours. My wife was furious. I kind of loved it."
"Nobody mowed anything. Three guys parachuted into my backyard, one landed in my tree, and then they all drank beer on my patio for 5 hours. They did share their jerk chicken though. 1 star but the chicken was incredible."
"5 stars. They didn't mow my lawn but I've never had more fun on a Tuesday. Marcus taught my kid to skateboard. Derek introduced me to dub reggae. Chill Steve said something about grass being alive that I'm still thinking about. My lawn looks terrible. I've rebooked."
"Kat was the only one who did any work. She mowed, edged, and trimmed my entire yard while the other three sat in lawn chairs rating clouds on a scale of 1-10. I tipped Kat separately. She looked exhausted and angry."
Questions people actually ask us. Regularly. With frustration.
We will absolutely show up with the intention and equipment to mow your lawn. What happens after that is between us, the vibes, and however many beers are in the cooler. Historically, about 40% of jobs reach what we'd generously call "completion."
Because all of our crew members are active BASE jumpers. Derek founded the company after realizing that the adrenaline high from jumping off a cliff pairs beautifully with the low-stakes zen of lawn care. Or at least, that was the theory. In practice we mostly just drink beer in people's yards.
The Hail Mary package includes aerial arrival, yes. For standard packages we drive a van. The van has a parachute painted on it, though, and we play the Top Gun theme when we pull up, so it's still pretty sick.
We offer a "Vibes Guarantee." If you didn't have a good time, we'll come back and try again. If you did have a good time, then the service was rendered. Your lawn looking the same as before is a separate issue.
Because it's a beautiful day and Peter Tosh didn't record "Legalize It" for you to sit inside with the blinds closed, Karen. Come outside. We have a camp chair for you.
Invite them over. This has a 94% success rate. The other 6% called the cops, but the cops also stayed for a beer, so really it's 100%.
These are people who voluntarily jump off of bridges and buildings for fun. Derek once tried to calculate a tip and ended up calling his mom. Marcus spelled "lawncare" wrong on the side of the van and we just left it. Chill Steve thinks the moon is "optional." We are not sending our brightest. We are sending our most enthusiastic. There's a difference.
Great question. We don't have a website that works (this one is mostly decorative). We lost the password to our email in 2023. Our booking system is exclusively through Grindr. Just search for "LawnDaddy69" or "MowMeBro" in your area. That's Derek and Marcus. Send a message, include your address and yard size, and one of them will respond between jumps. Kat has asked us to please get a normal booking system. We will not be doing that.
No. But she's the best landscaper in three states and she keeps coming back, so we don't ask questions.